Disappointments
are …
…a part of the package for those who dare to dream. They come, at
times, without any warning – as a bolt from the blues. That is called fate. Other times it comes as betrayals, rejections and human wickedness. That is destiny.
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Sometimes when your journey comes to a dead end, you need to go back to
where everything began. You realise you have come a long way. |
For the young, who are trying to get their first break, they come in
form of long waiting game - thanks to general apathy and indifference.
In an age where everything runs at cyber speed, it can be frustrating when
things don’t move at the speed you would expect or the way you would want.
My life may look rosy – full of adventures, surrounded by wonderful people and with amazing achievements under my belt.
From walking barefoot in Trashigang to dining with heads of States in the Imperial Palace of Japan, yes, I have come a long way. But I had my fair
share of disappointments and setbacks at several
stages in my life. I have also found myself in the darkest pitch where I felt scared, lonely and insignificant.
But when I look back I find those disappointments were not
as bad as I thought back then. They actually opened my eyes and made me discover my
true friends, and how much my siblings and my family loved me and were ready to stand by me - and how many relatives I had. Everyone were wishing me to spring back to life - filled with new promises
and prominence.
Disappointments also made me wiser. They taught me to cherish every person I meet, and every moment I live and every opportunity that came along.
In achievements I found my enemies. But in disappointments I found myself
Yes, we live in a cruel world of enemies and envies. People creating nothing but falsities around you. Those who were ahead of me saw me as threats. Random people who have not even known me but couldn’t succeed themselves because of their own shortcomings targeted me for being little more successful than them.
What I learnt in the end is that there is absolutely a very fine line between achievements and disappointments – between success and
failure. They are non-dualistic in nature. So, do not think that achievements are absolutely wonderful and disappointments are necessarily bad. Deal with both very
carefully – and as they come. And if you should find yourself in a hole, there is only one way out - and that is to climb up. Cry if you must. Then, take a deep breath, wipe your tears, jump out of the hole and start running again. And don't look back.
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Success is when someone builds a bridge for you to visit them.
On my way to Lamga village in Central Bhutan. |
Now there is one
thing …
… that stands between you and your dreams; between you and your “success”
and between you and your talent. That is called ego. And we Bhutanese seem to have
more than any other nationality that I have come across. I have been to 39 countries so far and have met every nationality on Earth.
Thanks to our ego, we have territorialism in the bureaucracy; gang
fights among our teens, unemployment among our youth and tensions among
colleagues at work place. Because of ego, many civil servants are not civil at all let alone servants. People who have just landed their first job don’t
need mentors or seniors advising them. Those who don't even have jobs don't want to do certain tasks. Some of our elected officials and bureaucrats become wise and enlightened
overnight once they adorn the kabney
and patang. Actors and directors who make couple of films forget who gave them their first break. I have not met a single Bhutanese who told me something like, "If it were not for him or her I would have never made it." Of course, there are lots of lip services of endless gratitudes to the monarchs.
If
we Bhutanese can do away with just 10% of our ego, 90% of the problems in this
country will be solved.
In all these years of being in the media, interviewing many successful
people I have never met one Bhutanese who acknowledged another Bhutanese publicly
or privately. Of course, I have had many Bhutanese - even senior officials, say that our King is our role model. Some even claimed the King as a mentor and as a drinchhen ghi
phama. But one is supposed follow one’s role model and emulate him. Instead, people
chase Prados, grab lands and foreign trips or try to head for Australia. Recently, while our Role Model was in the South braving the rain, flood,
leeches and security threats to be among those affected by the massive
rainfall, we were all lining up to hoard fuel and food in the capital, Thimphu. Wasn’t
it a shame that the PM had to tweet to the people not to panic and not to hoard?
In closing …
… there will surely be more dreams to come in our lives and many more role
models as guiding companions. Stretch your mind, dream big, keep on dreaming,
and never give up.
For, once you stop dreaming, you stop learning; and once
you stop learning, your stop living.
You may not turn out to be a Kung Fu master, land on the Moon, win the
Olympic Gold, play like Pele, or even look like Clint Eastwood (although now I
feel I much look better than him).
But,
in the journey we call “life”, getting there is less important than gaining
valuable experience along the way.
There is no such thing as “achieving nothing” unless, of course, you
have no dreams at all.
There is a poem that couldn’t have summarized my thoughts any
better. It is called “Ithaka” by a
Greek poet, C. P. Cavafy. I dedicate this to all the readers and wish you
successful dreams and surmountable disappointments.
As you set out for Ithaka
hope that your journey is a
long one,
full of adventures, full of
discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon
— don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like
that on your way
as long as you keep your
thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare sensation
touches
your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon —
you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along
inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up
in front of you.
Hope that your journey is a
long one.
May there be many summer mornings
when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for
the first time;
May you stop at Phoenician
trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral,
amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you
can;
and may you visit many Egyptian
cities
to learn, and learn again from
those who know.
Keep Ithaka always in your
mind.
Arriving there is what you are
destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at
all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so that you are old by the time
you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have
gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make
you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous
journey.
Without her you would not have
set out.
She has nothing left to give
you now.
And if you find her poor,
Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become,
so full of experience,
you will have understood by
then
what these Ithakas mean.